That Wacky, Wacky Edward Gibbon!!! (Part Two in an ongoing series.)

In the early years of Christianity, the Christians held their masses in secret locations. Naturally, this aroused curiosity, suspicion and rumor-mongering.

If you're bummed out because the rumor around town is that you're a slutty junkie with bad breath, at least you're not getting talked about like the early Christians (ah-ahem!):

From Edward Gibbon, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire," Volume Two, page 12:

"There were many who pretended to confess or to relate the ceremonies of this abhorred society. It was asserted, 'that a new-born infant, entirely covered over with flour, was presented like some mystic symbol of initiation, to the knife of the proselyte, who unknowingly inflicted many a secret and mortal wound on the innocent victim of his error; that as soon as the cruel deed was perpetrated, the sectaries drank up the blood, greedily tore asunder the quivering members, and pledged themselves to eternal secrecy, by a mutual consciousness of guilt. It was as confidently affirmed that this inhuman sacrifice was succeeded by a suitable entertainment, in which intemperance served as a provocative to brutal lust; till, at the appointed moment, the lights were suddenly extinguished, shame was banished, nature was forgotten; and, as accident might direct, the darkness of the night was polluted by the incestuous commerce of sisters and brothers, of sons and of mothers.'"

There. Don't you feel much better, victim of rumor? Have a nice day!