An Inconvenient Truth, An Unconsolable Citizen

In the film "An Inconvenient Truth," Former Vice President Albert Gore Jr. delivers an Oscar-worthy portrayal of a Green Party Candidate with a powerful working knowledge of both global warming and effective Powerpoint presentations.

I'll get to the film in just one moment (bear with me, please), but first, I want to give everyone a fair warning (caution: spoiler ahead): America's Favorite Lesbian Muppet Melissa Etheridge sings the "Theme from 'An Inconvenient Truth'" at the very end. The song is really, really bad, even for Melissa Etheridge. It's a song better-suited for commercials for Massengill douchebags or pharmaceuticals promising liberation from the perils of restless leg syndrome rather than closing an otherwise important movie about "Earth on the Brink." It's acoustic, and "inspirational," and you can almost hear the mumbled overdub: "Headaches, nausea, and anal bleeding are not uncommon. If erections persist for more than six months, call your physician."

OK. Let's continue. Watching "An Inconvenient Truth" is like watching a guy in Triple A ball set homerun records the year after he was in the majors and struck out in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded in game seven of the World Series, caught looking at a pitch hanging in the strike zone that's so perfect for swinging you can't believe it's this good and this easy because there's no way they would make it this easy so you just take it and watch the loss. You're glad to see he's still swinging for the fences and connecting and making these small victories, but there's still that nagging voice: WHERE WAS THIS LAST YEAR???

When it mattered, he picked Joe Lieberman as his running mate. In debates, he said "I agree with you" one too many times with a Debate Champ like George W. Bush.

Watching this movie, I actually laughed out loud at a couple jokes Gore made. Gone is the stuffed-shirt. Gone is the Angry Bearded Guy. Filtering out the direction, clearly designed to give Gore and His Message the importance it deserves, I still liked the man, far more than I ever did in the past. (Although, I did love the irony of how "An Inconvenient Truth" was rated: "PG: Mild Thematic Elements." Looks like the PMRC Monster bit back, eh? Nice to know that Melting Polar Icecaps, Coral Reef Destruction, and Hurricane Katrina are just like the mild thematic elements one would find in any Pixar movie.)

Yes, goddammit, you learn a lot, and yes, goddammit, every weak counterargument is confronted and squashed, but goddammit, you still go back to the goddamn undeniable fact that THIS MOVIE WOULD NOT HAVE NEEDED TO HAVE BEEN MADE HAD AL GORE RUN ANYTHING BETTER THAN A CRAPTASTIC CAMPAIGN IN 2000. Now, seven years later, he reveals this heretofore unseen (electable too!) side of this personality--something like a thoughtful and engaging college professor (you know: like me!).

Was he this way all along, and was I just relatively spoiled seven years ago, as used to barely literate leaders as we are today? Maybe to the former, and Yes to the latter. They gloss over the 2000 Election in about a minute, and that's fine, but 2000 hangs over the whole movie like a bad hangover. You wonder how it's going in the alternate universe that has President Albert Gore, Jr. You wonder if they still have their manufacturing base. You wonder how the 3000 troops who died in this universe are doing on that side. You wonder if Vice President Lieberman is kissing George W. Bush, Middle East Sales Manager of Halliburton.

All that aside and all things considered, "An Inconvenient Truth" does its job. It doesn't ask you to live in a tree and listen to the Indigo Girls (but Melissa Etheridge? [shudder]). The requests are doable. I wouldn't complain if Gore was put in charge of the Environmental Protection Agency. He can't be any worse than the oil lobbyists who have run it in more recent years. So, yeah, go see it...just mute the song at the end. You're welcome.