sideways parody

Why do I drink grasshoppers? Well, there are so many variants involved. I love how it's like this living thing, how with a grasshopper, what you taste at one moment will taste completely different one moment later. I love how creme de menthe is so much different than creme de cacao. I love saying creme de cacao. I love how you can taste what the cow ate that made the cream they use...when you can taste the bovine hormone, the subtle tinge of peet moss, the buttery flavor that's reminiscent of a cheese nip. When you taste a really vintage grasshopper, like an '86 TGIF frozen blend, or an '84 Bennigans mix left in the walkin cooler, you just know that it has reached it's peak, and, just like any other living thing, after it hits that peak, you know it can't live up to that anymore, and will be nothing but a pale imitation. The creme de cacao fields have a limited growing season; they need just the right temperature to prosper. I think of all the people who grew the creme de cacao, and if it's a vintage grasshopper, whether or not they're still alive. I love to hold the glass to the light, to see how close they get it to looking like a shamrock shake. I think about life, and I think about love, but mostly, I think about you, drinking this grasshopper with me, then like you know, doin' it.