Carmen Electra's Aerobic StripTEASE: Where the titties at?

Good news everybody! I now know how to dance like a stripper! It works out my abs and my glutes, and I haven't felt this fit in years!

Noted Chicago pro-athlete groupie Carmen Electra put out this DVD that teaches you how to workout and dance like you're working for folded up C-Notes stuffed into your buttcrack.

In my line of work, this does not come in handy. My girlfriend rented this on Netflix (yeah, right, dude!). We fast forwarded to the good stuff that never arrived. So...I will save you the time and trouble of renting this if you're looking for titty, for there is no titty. If you fast forward it, like, it kinda looks like the titty's jiggle a little bit. But that's it.

However, if you're just looking to lose some weight when you're not blog-blog-blogging away, then you should definitely check this out! It won't make you sweat all that much, and you get to learn some hott movez. Do you remember when Traci Lords made an aerobics workout video? No? I saw some of it from one of the great video comps put out by 5minutestolive.com, and it's pretty blatantly sexual w/out being, you know, blatantly sexual. For example, there were workouts that involved spreading your legs and keeping them spread. Carmen's not like that, you understand. These moves are kinda subtle, and at the beginning, Ms. Electra lectures you on the importance of stretching, because "your muscles are like rubber bands: the more you stretch, the longer they can go." (Something like that.)

However, the music isn't that good to workout to. I can't even remember what it's like, so that should tell you something. My girlfriend has a pilates video where the music comes from this dude playing the bongos who looks like one of the Strokes, only buff instead of strungout in a showbiz way. That's just a little bit better than this (only the dude (or the pilates women) has (have) no rhythm), so you should turn it down and practice your striperobics moves to "Maggot Brain" by Funkedelic or maybe "Frankie Teardrop" by Suicide. It's your call, should you pick up this DVD.